#incorrect steve Rodgers

[1luna1lovegood1]

Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !

Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!

Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!

Steve : they are called theme parks.

Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Steve: that's the adult part.

[loversrocktvgirl2]

my mini multiverse of madness…

Falling Asleep Headcanons (Tony, Steve, Peter)

masterlist

Tony

When you fall asleep near Tony, it’s cuddled up in a blanket on a chair, watching him in his workshop, in his element. It takes about fifteen minutes for him to realize you fell asleep, and the second he does, he feels bad. 

You’re gonna get a neck cramp in the morning if you sleep on this damn chair all night, and y’know what? He’s not gonna have that. 

Keeping you in your little blanket wrap, he picks you up and he carries you upstairs to go to bed. 

Normally, Tony can spend hours upon hours upon HOURS down in the workshop, fine tuning and inventing and building. It’s been a bit of a problem for everyone who knows him—his lack of sleep can make him insufferable in Stark Industry meetings, and it’s not good for him to be alone for so long with his thoughts just to keep them all to himself—but you’ve been the exception in the sense that, instead of insisting on dragging him up to bed night after night, you just come downstairs and stay there. If he’s gonna be your problem, then you’re gonna be his. 

He likes that you come and keep him company now, but sometimes he gets so caught up in his work that he forgets you’re there, and when he remembers, he always feels guilty. 

So tonight, he carries you up to bed and instead of sneaking back downstairs, he decides to stay with you.

You make yourself comfortable with him so easily that his heart sort of melts a bit, and he holds you closer to him, gently tracing soft circles on your back, breathing in rhythm with you. The cold night air comes in through the cracked-open window, and he finds himself relaxing enough to close his eyes and drift off to sleep, something he’s struggled with for a long time. 

When you wake up in the morning and find yourself here, you smile, because you know that he loves you. 

Steve

When you fall asleep on Steve, it’s after the two of you went on a date. You’d gone to a nice restaurant and then out dancing, and you’d had a wonderful time with him. You liked that he was a little bit old fashioned. It was a nice change of pace from all the more modern men you’d been on dates with. You felt like he treated you with more respect than they did, too. 

You rode back to the Avengers tower on his motorcycle, your arms wrapped around his toned chest, feeling the cool air against your skin and his warmth against you. 

You felt comfortable and safe. Motorcycles normally scared you a bit, especially when there was a great deal of traffic. But riding on Steve’s motorcycle on a back country road in the cool night, hugging onto him, you felt safe and happy. You were tired, your feet hurt from dancing in high heels, but you were content to be there. You leaned your head against his back and closed your eyes, relaxed. 

You weren’t quite asleep by the time he’d gotten you both home, but you’d almost drifted off a bit. “Sorry,” you said casually. 

“No, it’s okay,” Steve assured with a smile. “I like that you trust me enough.” You smiled back and him, and he helped you off of the motorcycle. Carrying your shoes, he walked you up the stairs to your bedroom.

While you got unready from your date and ready for bed, he did the same, sliding off his shoes and jacket and switching out his dress pants for pajama pants, leaving his white t-shirt on. When you came back into your bedroom, he was already lying under the covers. You climbed into bed and he brought your into his arms, and you drifted off to sleep. 

Peter

When you fall asleep on Peter, it’s in the middle of your movie night together. You’re relaxed on the couch with his arm around you, watching a bad comedy movie from twenty years ago, and you’re pretty tired. 

You like the movie, it’s not that—but you’re so comfortable this close to him, the blanket wrapped around you, back against the couch and head on his shoulder, that you find yourself drifting off to sleep. 

When Peter realizes that you’ve fallen asleep, he gets a little bit stressed out. 

What does he do? Does he just stay still? Does he carry you to bed? Does he fall asleep too? He’s panicking. 

Tony passes by the room and chuckles when he sees you peacefully sleeping and Peter stressing out over it. “Hey, kid, it’s okay, just stay still,” Tony says quietly, amusement clear in his tone. Peter nods in understanding and just freezes. Tony laughs a little, keeping his voice down so that he doesn’t wake you. “Don’t freeze, just…stay there. Finish your movie.”

Peter nods again. “Okay,” he whispers. He tries his best to remain calm and relax back into the couch. 

Within thirty minutes, he’s fallen asleep with you.

Thor passes by to grab a midnight snack and he sees the two of you passed out on the couch together, and he lets out a soft chuckle. “Ah. Young love,” he remarks quietly to himself and walks away, letting the two of you sleep. 

In the morning, you both wake up, still on the couch. Natasha’s sitting in a chair, reading the newspaper casually. “Morning, lovebirds. Don’t worry. Everybody already saw you cuddling.”

Peter blushes and you laugh. You turn to him. “I’m hungry, you wanna get breakfast with me?” He nods and you grin, and he follows you into the kitchen.

[angelremnants]

Classified Distraction l S. Rogers

summary : Steve usually prides himself on his self-control—that is, until you decide to put it up to the test with a single and devastatingly timed picture of you in lingerie. Trapped in a government meeting, he’s forced to choose between professionalism and the growing need to grill you and put you back in your place. Spoiler alert: the meeting won’t last much longer.

pairing : Steve Rogers x f!reader

warnings : Mature (18+—MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT) Modern SMAU, established relationship, bit of sexting and dirty talk, sexual content, you being a horny and desperate little shit, dom!Steve if you squint, power dynamics, flirting and teasing, mild language. Proceed with caution if you're sensitive to such material.

author's notes : Decided to write a little something with Steve while I write the chapter 2 for HFTS because it's been a while and I wanted to do a SMAU with him for so long. <3

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dividers ©️ @cafekitsune .

angelremnants ©️ 2025. All rights reserved. Do not repost, reproduce, or distribute without explicit permission.

[gender-thief2]

iron man incorrect quotes in the year of our lord 2025 because i have brain rot and you all will suffer for it

[movienerd22]

Steve: so Tony.. where’s the flying cars huh

Tony: what ? what flying cars, that’s not a thing

Steve: mhm sureee I bet your just keeping them for yourself

Tony: what are you even talking about.. flying cars did you hit your head coming out of the ice

Bucky: *walking in* Howard promised the world flying cars

[fatkish]

The Avengers x Y/N

——————————————————————————

[(Y/n) is sick and has been throwing up and is in the living room with the others]

Y/n: I want Bobo

Sam: *handing y/n a bottle of water* who’s Bobo?

*Bucky walks in*

Bucky: okay I got you that soda you like to drink when you’re nauseous, I also got some applesauce and some warm blankets

Y/n: *making grabby hands towards Bucky* Bobo!

Bucky: *snuggles next to y/n* Bobo’s here.

Steve: *lays the warm blankets on y/n and Bucky before setting the soda and applesauce packets on the side table and settling next to y/n* c’mere doll. You want to ask Loki to read to you? Would that help?

Y/n: yes please

Steve: hey Friday, can you ask Loki to come down and read to y/n, they’re sick

Friday: of course

Tony: wait a minute, you’re telling me rock of ages reads to y/n?

Thor: of course, lady/sir y/n says that my brother has a soothing voice and he often reads books to them that they are too lazy to read themselves

*a few minutes later*

Loki: *walks in with a thick book under his arm and sits behind y/n* alright now, where did we last leave off…oh yes, here we go. *proceeds to start reading aloud*

Y/n: *snuggles into Steve, Loki and Bucky while holding a large bowl on their lap and closes their eyes*

——————————————————————————

Natasha: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Tony: Sex.

Pepper: Seriously, answer faster.

Tony: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Pepper: It’s like a giant hug.

Natasha: Y/n, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Y/n: Food.

Natasha: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Y/n: Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Steve: What about you Thor? What would you give up sex or food?

Thor: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Steve: No, you gotta pick one.

Thor: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

——————————————————————————

Thor: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Loki recently.

Y/n: No, Thor, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Thor: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Y/n: No! You’re the only one for me.

Thor: Is that so?

Y/n: I promise! Loki and I are just dating, okay? He’s my partner.

Thor: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Y/n: You are still my one and only best friend! Loki is just the love of my life, nothing more!

Thor: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Y/n: Of course bro!

Thor: Bro...

Loki: What the-

——————————————————————————

*y/n is playing Amnesia the horror video game in their room*

Y/n: *is humming the jeopardy theme song*

Steve: *in the living room* has anyone seen y/n

Peter: uh yeah, they’re in their room, why

Steve: I’m just curious, haven’t seen them since yesterday

Y/n: *the amnesia monster appears and starts coming after them* OH FUCK! Oh no! No no no no no no stay away! I’m gonna die

Loki: *had snuck into their room and was hiding*

Loki: *cast an illusion to make himself appear as the monster from the game and slowly creeps up behind y/n*

Y/n: *managed to get away in the game* phew, I’m safe. *takes off their headphones*

Loki: *taps y/n’s shoulder*

Y/n: *looks behind them and screams* Ahhhhhhhh!

Y/n: * falls out of their chair and runs out of their room screaming*

The avengers are in the living room watching y/n run away screaming followed by Loki smiling

Tony: I seriously do not understand their relationship

Thor: Loki is simply getting back at y/n for hiding the Poptarts and blaming him for eating them

Thor: *realizes something* this one may be my fault

Steve: how so?

Thor: I may have gotten a bit upset and possibly thrown my brother out the window…

Bruce: *looks at Thor with that bewildered and slightly horrified look on his face*

Clint: remind me never to eat the last poptart

——————————————————————————

*Y/n, Peter, Scott and Thor are in the living room with pictures of the other Avengers on the TV screen*

*Natasha’s picture comes up*

Y/n: pass

Peter: respectfully pass

Scott: well I’m with Hope so pass

Thor: I still don’t get the point of this game

Scott: Thor, if you’d have sex with the person who’s picture is shown then you say smash, if not then you say pass

Thor: ah! Well lady Natasha is indeed quite the warrior! Smash

*the other avengers walk in*

*a picture of Clint comes up*

Y/n: not gonna lie, if he weren’t married, I’d totally smash

Peter: pass

Scott: pass

Thor: I too would smash

*clint looks shocked at the others but also blushes*

*a picture of Tony comes up*

Y/n: meh, pass. He’s like a dad

Peter: pass

Scott: he’s mean to me, pass

Thor: Smash!

*Tony rolls his eyes*

*a Picture of Steve pops up*

Y/n: Smash! Smash that ass

Peter: smash

Scott: I want him to smash me

Thor: I too would like to smash the captain

*steve is shocked*

*Loki walks in as his picture comes up*

y/n: Smashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmash! SMASH!

Peter: pass?

Y/n: *looks at Peter bewildered* you’d pass on this glorious piece of art!? Look at him! Look at that beautiful face! Tell me you wouldn’t want to see this face breathless and lust driven. I don’t care if he’s on top or bottom, he can blow my back out any day.

Scott: *whispers* smash

Thor: y/n, you find my brother attractive?

Y/n: yesssssss!

Loki: *walks up behind y/n with a smug look on his face* is that so darling?

Y/n: *turns around and faints upon seeing Loki*

Loki: oh dear, are they dead?

——————————————————————————

*y/n and Peter are in the living room inside of a inflatable kiddie pool filled halfway with water wearing swimsuits. Both of them are wearing snorkels and goggles and are laying on their stomachs.*

Tony: *enters the room and sees Peter and y/n* what the hell are they doing?

Scott: I have no idea but honestly I feel the same

Steve: it’s -5 degrees Fahrenheit outside and these two are laying on their stomachs in a kiddie pool

Tony: how long have they been like that?

Scott: I don’t know, they were like this when I got here

Steve: and how long have been here?

Scott: thirty minutes give or take?

Tony: alright, that’s it, I’m pulling the plug on whatever this is

Clint: *from the vents* it’s fine! The kids are just trying to pretend it’s summer. They’re trying to pray the snow away and bring back tolerable temperatures

Steve: how long have they been doing this?

Clint: *from the vents* 7 hours

Tony: Jesus, I’m getting them out. *taps on y/n and peter’s shoulders* C’mon you two, out.

Peter: *lifts his head and removes the snorkel* but mister stark

Tony: no, no buts. Get out.

Peter and y/n: awwww *gets out*

Tony: and clean this up

——————————————————————————

*y/n comes running into the living room with a box that’s taped up*

Y/n: it’s here! It’s here! *sets the box on the coffee table and proceeds to open it*

Tony: what’cha got there kiddo?

Y/n: *pulls out an old creepy doll* This is Bella-Ann and she’s supposed to be haunted

Clint: yeah nope, I’m not staying anywhere near that thing

Tony: oh come on Legolas, it’s not real

Y/n: Bella killed her last owner, supposedly…

Steve: why would you want that?

Y/n: cause it only cost me 2 dollars and the seller promised it was haunted

Tony: yeah no, I’m calling the wizard. *calls Strange*

Dr. Strange: *picks up and is clearly annoyed* what is it this time?

Tony: y/n bought a supposedly haunted doll

Dr. Strange: and why are you calling me?

Y/n: uh, Tony?

Tony: not now y/n

Y/n: Tony!

Tony: what?!

Y/n and Steve: *hiding behind the couch*

Y/n: *whispers* the doll has a knife*

The doll: *is standing and holding a knife*

Tony: *to Strange* yeah there’s definitely something wrong with the doll, it’s got a knife and is currently chasing y/n*

Y/n: *running from the doll* help me!

Dr. Strange: *sighs and opens a portal* fine

——————————————————————————

*y/n comes skipping into a meeting*

Y/n: Balls in holes! Who wants to put ball in holes?!

Fury: excuse me?

Steve: language!

Y/n: aww ain’t anyone wanna play skee-ball, I’ve got tickets

Tony: y/n, we’re in a meeting

Sam: I’d love to but we’re kinda busy

Y/n: fine, I’ll go play with myself

Steve: you hear what you’re saying right?

Natasha: don’t bother, they’ve been hanging out with Deadpool

——————————————————————————

[incorrectwandanat]

steve: cut nat some slack, y/n, she's in love!

reader: that's not really my problem-

steve: she’s in love with you!

reader: oh.

reader: i will not deny that brings me in the loop a little.

[niabiabloop]

Y/n: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Bucky : Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Steve: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

[pixiexdusts-world]

Incorrect quote

Tony: Y/n... How do I begin to explain Y/n?

Bucky: Y/n is flawless.

Natasha: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.

Steve: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.

Peter: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

[louwaffles]

Steve and Y/N overlooking destruction. Steve: Well, frick me. Y/N: I think you meant to say "fuck me" and honey, I already did that last night. You can't be saying stuff like that on a-- Sam: Earpieces! We can hear everything you're saying!

[tr3asur3]

Y/n: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Steve: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Y/n: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Steve: But I heard a siren.

Sam: That was Bucky.

Bucky: Sorry, I got nervous.

[1luna1lovegood1]

Bucky: *messages the boys at 3am*

Peter : *replies back soon after*

Steve: What the fuck are you doing awake, go to sleep

[loversrocktvgirl2]

my mini multiverse of madness…

Babyfever (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

word count: 0.6k

masterlist

The first time Steve saw you hold a baby was about five months after you had first started dating. Some friend of yours had had a baby, and you had been so excited, and dragged Steve along with you to go meet the baby. 

When your friend handed you her infant daughter, it was like the pieces clicked together for Steve. Your face had lit up, a gentle smile on your lips, and your eyes were locked on the child’s. You were enraptured by this baby, enchanted just to hold her and smile softly. Steve hadn’t thought a lot about ever wanting kids since he’d come out of that ice, but the look on your face was starting to make him reconsider things. 

When he drove you home, you were still smiling, chatting with him like normal, but he could tell how happy you were. You’d only been together five months, but he knew that he loved you. However, he was in no position to be talking about any of this with you—he was an old fashioned man, and he needed both to get himself in a more stable place and to marry you before he could even think about having a baby with you. 

The second time Steve saw you hold a baby was when you went to Clint’s house together. You’d been together for a little over a year now. Clint’s kids ran over to you, and you held them close. Then Clint’s wife, Laura, handed you their one-year-old baby boy. You gently took him into your arms and held him close, savoring the proximity. The kids constantly climbed on you, one of them always in your lap the entire time you were visiting with Clint and Laura. Steve couldn’t help but smile at you in your obvious fondness for the kids—he found it endearing. 

The real kicker was the third time. At this point, you were engaged to Steve, living together in his apartment. The place had once felt a little empty or out of touch, but the second you came into the space and filled it up with life, it was never the same again. Had Steve cringed at the Homegoods receipt? Yes. But you were so, so worth that, and he did have to admit that the place looked better.

You and Steve had been asked to babysit your best friend’s child. The girl was three years old, and when Steve came home to find her asleep on the couch, resting on you. You looked up at Steve with a tired smile. Steve bent down to kiss your cheek. “We’re gonna have one of these, right?” Steve gestured to the sleeping girl, keeping his voice quiet. 

“‘These’? Steve, she’s a child,” you chastened in a whisper. 

Steve smiled. “I know, I know,” he said, and gazed at you softly. “I wanna have kids with you, though.”

You bit your lip a little, smiling a little to yourself. “I want that too.” 

Steve kissed your head and stood up. “I’ll carry her to bed. Why don’t you get pajamas on, we’ll go to sleep?”

You looked up at him, tired but content as he lifted the sleeping girl into his arms. “Sounds good. I love you, Steve.”

“I love you too,” Steve whispered back at you, cradling the girl against his chest and walking away to lay her down on her air mattress, and to tuck her in under the blankets. 

[ljlokijinx]

Steve: Spidey, you are BLEEDING from a STAB wound!

Peter: Do I look like I care?

Steve: Not really no..

Peter: Why do you think that is?

Steve:....

Peter: It's because I'm a bad actor bitch.

Steve: I walked right into that one didn't I?

Tony: Yeah, you really did.

[bluesunshine21]

Y/n : I think it's time for plan B

Steve : we have plan B ?

Y/n : no but it's time for one

[keratin-moth]

Bucky: How do you want your tea babe?

Steve: As sweet as you, honey. ☺️

*later*

Steve: James Buchanan Barnes, why the FUCK is my tea salty??